Speaker

Today's program was presented by Daniel Robertson, a personal trainer who shared some of his secrets to exercise and a healthy body.

Guests

We enjoyed a spooktacular interclub with 6 members of Palo Alto.

Congratulations

To the recipient of this year's Kiwaniian of the Year award, Kristin Gragnola.

Kristin has done so much for the club the past several years and at last she has

been properly recognized for all her hard work and unfaltering commitment.

Happy/Sad Dollars

Richard put in a happy $5. $1 for his new camera, another because he got to photograph the exotic-erotic ball again this year and $3 happy dollars for Ginnie's Halloween birthday.

Dave G. was happy that the soccer team he coaches is undefeated.

A member of the Palo Alto club put in a happy buck for the St. Louis Cardinals.

Doug was happy to fork over a dollar in honor of the Sharks doing so well.

Both Dale and Art were sad enough about the Tigers to toss a dollar in the pot.

Another Palo Alto guest, thrilled about having been able to attend 3 of his grandkids soccer games, anteed up a dollar.

Reminder

Next Tuesday is election day so get out there and cast your vote and remember to bring your ballot stub to lunch with you to avoid a $1 "oops, I didn't vote" fine.

Congratulations

To Fenton, who received his 48 year perfect attendance pin today!

Upcoming Events - Look What's Coming Up!

November 9 - Board Meeting

Speakers Needed

Hal is now in charge of speakers and he is requesting assistance. If you know of anyone who would be interested in presenting a program please let him know.

Fine-Free Badge

This month the badge goes to Art for his bid of $10

Joker-Joker

One of the Palo Alto members was lucky today and took $9 from our Joker-Joker pot.

Have You Heard the One About.......???

Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield.

"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Mary Agnes, "What should we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy water before we left the Vatican," replies Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. The vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns.

"Now what?" shouts Sister Mary Agnes.

"Show him your cross," says Sister Mary Vincent.

"Now you're talking," says Sister Mary Agnes. She then opens the window and shouts, "Get the hell off our car!"

Just in case you've forgotten the rules for a safe and Happy Halloween!

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run.

5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go it alone.

6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

7. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

8. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

9. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

10. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had 3/4 of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

11. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.